


For forever

by SincerelyGay



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: I'll add tags and characters as necessary, M/M, This is literally just a bunch of little one shot stories, but it's not the main focus of all of them, they all have tree bros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyGay/pseuds/SincerelyGay
Summary: Connor is Scary. But Evan loves him.A collection of one shots about Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen





	1. Picture Perfect Afternoon

**Author's Note:**

> Listen I have so many Connor/Evan plots in my head right now I'll probably post a bunch of little ones in a big compilation here, so stay tuned for that. Also I'm not great at writing things like this so I'm sorry this is kind of awful.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor hates the outdoors. But when he's with Evan, he's happy anywhere

     “Ev, stop moving.” Connor said as he picked up his sketchbook, which had just fallen onto the grass for what felt like the millionth time since they’d gotten to the orchard. He always liked drawing when he was out here – especially when he was drawing a sketch of Evan climbing a tree or feeding a squirrel, “You’re literally the world’s worst desk.”

     Evan grumbled a bit and shifted to look up at Connor from where he lay on the taller boy’s lap “Well, I’m not a desk. And the grass is really itchy!” He pouted ever so slightly, which made Connor’s heart skip about twelve beats – but he’d never admit that, “Plus if you’re drawing, I don’t get to kiss you.”

     “Oh, so you’d rather disgrace the good, pure nature of the forest by fucking under that big oak tree over there?” A huge smirk graced Connor’s face as he looked down at his now adorably-blushing-and-sputtering boyfriend. Evan sat up quickly, trying to vain to hide his bright red face.

     “N-no! That’s not w-what I meant! I just m-m-meant that I wanted to kiss you and t-technically that’snotevenanoakthat’sagreenashtreeyoucantellbythewaytheleave-“ When Evan began to talk at the actual speed of light, that’s when Connor knew he’d have to intervene.

     He leaned in quickly and pressed his lips against Evan’s, drawing an absurdly adorable surprised squeak from the latter. After a moment, Evan relaxed into the warm, familiar touch of his boyfriend. He lazily made his way closer to Connor, almost sitting in his lap – but not because it’s so bony when he sits with his legs crossed like that – and leaning into the kiss. It didn’t take long for Connor to notice this change and deepen the kiss ever so slightly, putting his sketchbook down next to him and pulling Evan close.

     Of course, it took even less time for Connor to make a bolder move by sliding his tongue between Evan’s lips and his hands just barely under Evan’s shirt. Hey, it’s not his fault, he just loves those noises Evan makes.

     After what he would argue was far too short of a time, the taller boy pulled away, leaving Evan frozen in an unbearably cute daze. Seeing his face so flushed and that goofy grin on his lips, Connor couldn’t help but smile in utter awe.

     When he came back into reality, Evan just narrowed his eyes and poked Connor in the shoulder, “You’re such an asshole. You know that, right?” 

     Connor just laughed and pulled his hair back into the ponytail that had somehow gotten taken out during their encounter, “Hey, I was just doing what you asked. I put down my drawing and kissed you.” He pulled the book back onto his lap and started sketching again. He made a few strokes with his pencil and then looked at Evan with an eyebrow raised and that damn smirk on his face, “unless you want to take me up on that offer with the tree?”

     Evan just blushed even harder, which almost made Connor worry if his face was gonna explode from all the blood in there. He tried to look angry, which Connor just couldn’t help but laugh at, considering he looked more like a chipmunk who just had his nut taken away from him. He just pulled his red-faced boyfriend close and kissed him on the forehead, “hey shithead, calm yourself. You look like you’re gonna fucking explode.”

     The shorter boy just sighed deeply as if he hadn’t been breathing at all that entire time, and laid back down on Connor’s lap, facing away from him, “You’re honestly the worst.”

     Connor just had to smile at that, “Yeah, but you love me.”

     Not even a bit of hesitation before Evan responded with, “Yes, I do.”

     He put his sketchbook down next to him and started running a hand through Evan’s hair, “I love you too.” He felt Evan move into his touch, still facing away from him. Connor followed his gaze to see a big weeping willow across the field, “You want to go climb that, don’t you?”

     “Little bit,” Evan said, as he was up in a flash, running to the giant tree. 

     The taller boy just smiled as he watched his boyfriend run for a bit, turning to a new, blank page in his book. He always said he was allergic to the outdoors, but when he could draw Evan in utter heaven climbing the biggest trees in the orchard, he could stay there for forever.


	2. You are not the Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe hates being woken up, but this time she's glad she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one isn't super Connor/Evan, but they're there. It's mostly about Connor & Zoe's relationship because by golly they care about each other.

     Zoe didn’t like being woken up in the middle of the night. She liked to sleep when she could, because god knows it was too loud half the time with everyone in the house screaming at each other. She could barely wake up for school after a good night’s sleep, let alone after only two hours.

     So when she heard Connor’s window latch open and a huge crash follow, she was pissed. Then she heard him start to talk. Well, she heard his voice being muffled as it came through the wall that separated their rooms. She figured it was one of his dealers, helping him in his adventure to just constantly be stoned.

     She picked up her phone to glance at the time, squinting at the suddenly bright screen. 1:17 AM. Connor was gonna pay for this in the morning. She decided to shoot him a text before trying her damnedest to get back to sleep – which she knew, in reality, would never happen.

 

**_01:17_ **

_connor. shut up. please._

     Zoe put her phone down on the table next to her and her head on the pillow, barely even shutting her eyes before her phone vibrated piercingly loud against the wood.

 

**_01:18_ **

_calm down it was just one crash._

_dont be such a bitch_

     She heard a muffled voice again through the wall. But it definitely wasn’t Connor’s. Initially she just figured it was whatever dealer he brought in, but she just felt like she recognized it.

 

**_01:18_ **

****

_tell the drug lord to leave. just let me sleep._

_and please just dont overdo it. i hate the smell of weed._

     There was a soft squeak, followed by two sets of footsteps in the hallway outside. One was clearly much more cautious than the other, like he was worried about being heard. Zoe could hear the voices more clearly as they went past her door.

     “Con, you really should go and say sorry to her.” She knew she recognized that voice. The worried tone, the mild stutter, the rushed words. There was only one person who had a voice just like that one – Evan Hansen. But what was Evan doing over at their house? Especially with _Connor_?

     “She’s fine. She’ll get over it,” Connor said to him, “Now hurry up if you want to be able to watch that whole movie.”

     Now she was confused, not only was Evan here with Connor of all people, but they were gonna be watching a movie together?

 

**_01:25_ **

****

_why is evan hansen here?_

**_01:26_ **

****

_what the fuck are you talking about?_

_why the hell would I have evan hansen over?_

     Down the hall, Zoe could hear Connor say “Keep your voice down, okay? Zoe’s getting suspicious.” 

     “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud I’ll try to keep it down now.” Yeah, definitely Evan Hansen. Weird.

     Even weirder was when she heard Connor respond with, “Hey, don’t be sorry. She’d just tell my parents if she found out about us.”

     Slightly offended and extremely confused, Zoe picked up her phone. She unlocked the screen and went to type a message to him, but paused over the keyboard. 

     She and Connor had fought almost their entire lives. He tried his hardest to make each day hell for her, and she was never exactly the best sister to him. But this was his secret, why should she tell anyone? If he was secretly dating Evan Hansen, who was she to stop him? She was happy he finally found someone who wasn’t terrified of him. She put her phone down on the bedside table and closed her eyes. 

     It was 3:48 when she woke up again. It was going to be one of those nights, where her mind just didn’t want to stay off. Maybe she just needed some water.

     Using her phone’s flashlight, she made her way down the hallways, skipping the spots on the floor that she knew would creak. As she walked down the stairs, she heard soft music coming from the living room. When she walked in there, she saw what might have been the last thing she would have expected to. 

     Connor, sound asleep on the couch, with Evan Hansen buried in his chest. If it weren’t for the fact that Connor’s arms were around Evan, holding him tightly, or that their legs were tangled up together, or that his face was in the shorter boy’s hair, she would have thought that Connor killed the poor boy. But honestly, he seemed more at peace than she’d ever seen him before.

     She quickly made her way back up the stairs to her room and sat down on her bed.

 

**_03:59_ **

****

_dont worry, connor. i wont tell mom and dad._

_you guys make a cute couple._

     It didn’t take long for her to fall back asleep. When her alarm woke her up at 6:15, she checked her phone. _One new message: Connor_. She opened it, expecting some kind of horrible threat for having seen them. What she got was much different.

 

**_04:35_ **

****

_thanks, zoe. i knew there was a reason i dont totally hate you._

     She smiled a little bit as she got ready and made her way down the stairs to the kitchen, where her mom was pouring coffee and Connor was scrolling through his phone. Taking her usual seat across the table from him, she decided to send him a quick text.

 

**_06:50_ **

****

_i love you too, bro._

     And when he shot her a glare and flipped her off, she could see the grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. Connor was actually happy for once, and that made her happy too.


	3. You will be Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor really does not like needles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao this is my second update to this series today. I have finals in a week I could be studying for and two final papers to write before I'm officially a sophomore in college but you know I'd rather write abt these little cuties.
> 
> I tried to be all ~deep~ by not having Connor speak until the end because it wasn't until then that he was really happy during this but it's also dumb
> 
> Also the title isn't great but I'm sticking with the lyrics thing and couldn't think of anything better (if anyone can think of smth better let me know pls)
> 
> Fair warning: this chapter has depictions of self-harm, along with slurs and bullying.

            I don’t like needles.

            Not one bit. 

            I’ve never tried heroin, I chickened out of getting my ears pierced at the last second, and I’ve almost blacked out at every vaccination I’ve ever gotten in my life. Nothing else like that has ever bothered me. Guns are fine, knives don’t scare me, and I’ve never been phased by brass knuckles.

            But I just don’t like needles.

            And yet here I am, sitting in a chair in a dingy studio while some girl with blue hair and black glasses with the frames popped out drags a needle across my skin. How long has it been now, like 2 hours? No, it’s barely been 10 minutes. I swear this could be a form of torture. I’ve been sweating since she came in the room, I can’t relax my muscles, and my heart is literally in my throat. Why did I agree to do this?

            Oh, yeah. Evan wanted to. Who would have thought Evan Hansen would want a tattoo? The boy could barely pick out a shirt to wear each day because, “what will people say?” But when he came to me with that fucking precious smile, telling me his idea, I just couldn’t say no. I can never say no to him. He’s the only person who treats me like I’m worth anything. He makes me feel so happy and his voice makes my stomach all queasy. God, I love him.

            So here I am, letting a needle pierce my skin repeatedly because I couldn’t say no to Evan Hansen.

 

\---

 

            _Why can’t it just go deeper?_

I sat in the corner of my room, all the lights off. My teeth clenched, I just stared at the blood that oozed out of my arm. It had been a day. A fucking terrible day.

            I woke up late. So of course Larry decided to let me know how much of a burden I am the whole time he drove me to school cause I took too long and Zoe had to take my car. And of course he let me know how much easier their lives would have been if they’d only had Zoe. I just love knowing how worthless I am to my parents. They wish I was more like my father. If I were I’d have put myself out of that misery years ago. 

            Evan hadn’t been at school. He woke up with a migraine and I told him to stay home and get rest. So I was alone all day, forced to face an onslaught of the usual torment on my own. Most people are afraid of me, but there are a few who just see me as a fucking target. So a day full of being called a shooter, a faggot, and a piece of shit without having someone there to make it okay just piled onto all of it.

            Oh, and of course I failed a biology test. And my car got a flat. And I didn’t enough money to get lunch. And I got detention for “talking back” to a teacher when she told me I’m gonna be homeless when I’m older. And I’d run out of pot the day before. 

It was a fucking terrible day. But I was numb to it. 

            The razor on my skin let me feel something. The constant static in my head and the pounding behind my eyes finally disappeared. Nothing mattered as I drug the blade across my wrist, leaving more marks to accompany the countless others. Evan didn’t like those marks. 

            My phone buzzed. _Speak of the devil_. God, the guilt I felt when I saw his face on my screen. I told him everything, and he told me he was coming over. It felt like an instant and he was at my door, white as a ghost. 

            “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” He said. He was always apologizing, even when it wasn’t his fault, like then. I told him that and he just told me, “but I could have stopped this.” 

            He cleaned out the cuts, made sure to disinfect them or some shit. He thought about everyone else so much. He was just so caring, it made me feel so guilty for being such a piece of shit. I didn’t even ask him how he was feeling, I just watched him dab a washcloth against my wrist. I don’t really remember after that; I just know we laid in my bed holding each other for so long. 

            The next day is when he brought up the idea of the tattoo. 

            “I feel so bad I couldn’t be there for you,” he told me, “I was thinking it could be a reminder that I love you so much and you shouldn’t hurt yourself, because it won’t help.” He sounded nervous, but his smile just drew me in and made my heart beat so hard and fast. 

            So I said yes. I just couldn’t say no. 

            Even though I hate needles.

 

\---

 

            It didn’t take painfully long to finish the tattoo. Less than an hour.  It’s small anyways. But of course I have to smile when I look at it. A little blue heart outline, on the left side of my wrist, about an inch below where my hand meets my arm. Blue is Evan’s favorite color. 

            “Hey, you all done?” I turn around from where I’d been paying, and he’s standing there. He holds his wrist to me, and shows me a little black heart outline, same spot where mine is, “do you like it?” 

            I hate needles. But that smile makes me forget everything I’ve ever hated in my life. So I just smile back and say, “I love it.”


	4. Do you Ever Really Crash...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan likes Drum Circles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the premise of this chapter is that Connor and Evan are roommates in an inpatient psychiatric hospital. Part of their treatment is music therapy - specifically a drum circle in this chapter.
> 
> Because I'm a trash music therapy major who wants to work in this exact population one day a y y y and also drum circles are really fun
> 
> This is gonna be a part 1 of 2 thing cause I want to make one from Connor's POV as well!
> 
> And the title is g a r b a g e but it's like a drum thing like crash you know? The story is also a little garbage cause I couldn't focus on writing today lmao

     “One, two, ready, play!”

     You know, I kind of like drum circles. Sure, they’re loud and they can get very chaotic, but I like them.

     I can just slip in my earplugs and grab a soft instrument – my favorites are the frog and the fish scraper thing I found out is called a _guiro_ – and blend into the general noise of the group. As long as no one singles me out, which they tended not to after the first time one of the therapists tried and I sort of froze, I have a lot of fun. No, I’m not a super musical person. But not many people are.

     Well, Connor is. 

     He doesn’t have to talk at all. He’ll walk out of the room during the introductions and then come back in once the music starts up. But he gets a drum in his hands and he can just become so full of life. 

     I could watch him for hours. He grabs one of the big drums – djembes, according to the therapist – and keeps it in his lap the whole two hours. I’ll never understand how it looks so natural when he plays it, like his hands were just made for making incredible rhythms. 

     He doesn’t really like being singled out either. The difference is, when he is, he can at least carry himself without looking like a dork. And I wish they’d never bring the rest of the group back in, so I could just listen to him play forever. 

     At the end of the circles, the therapist always has us sing. Connor doesn’t really ever join in. I wish he would. His voice is just so beautiful. I heard him singing quietly once in the morning, when he thought I was still asleep. 

     What isn’t beautiful about him, though? He’s so quiet and angry all the time, but he also has really deep eyes that kinda sparkle sometimes, plus his smile is just perfect. I heard one of the girls in here talking about who she’d kiss, and he was at the top of the list. Funny, he’s at the top of mine too.

     Of course the only person who knows about this is my counselor. She says I should try to become better friends with him. We’re pretty good friends already, though. We’re roommates, so we stay up talking every night. And We went to the same school. And his sister is really nice to me.

     I just wish I could do something about the way I feel when I look at him, though. Can you imagine? We’re not even allowed to have a pencil in our room unsupervised. I don’t think they’d like us having so much freedom that we could date.

     So for now, I’ll just stick to watching him play in drum circle, where I see how at peace he can really be. Not full of rage, not ready to pounce on the first person to look at him wrong, not itching to get his hands on a pair of scissors or a joint. 

     Just closed eyes, hair loose around his shoulders and face, and a drum. Just beautiful music coming from a beautiful person.


	5. ...Or even make a sound?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor loves drum circles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm back! Sorry I haven't been uploading the past few days. I finished all my final papers and have had no motivation to write!
> 
> Here's the second chapter of the music therapy one! I am convinced Connor is super artsy no one can fight me on this. And this isn't super good and it really short but eh I'll get back into the swing of things once school is finally over.
> 
> Also, I've been uploading designs to my redbubble page, so if you guys could check it out that'd be awesome! http://www.redbubble.com/people/erindbex
> 
> One more thing - thank you guys for the kind words??? They literally fill my heart with so much joy and I want to cry thank you all so much. You're all super sweet and I wish I could give you all hugs

            I hate group therapy. So fucking much. No one needs to know any of my business and I don’t want to know any of theirs. What’s the point of group therapy besides to put a bunch of uncomfortable people in a circle of chairs while some guy in pants that are too tight and a shirt that’s too loose shows them a video on why life is great?

            Group therapy is bullshit. But drum circles are different.

            I’ve always been kind of artistically inclined. I love drawing and cooking. I’m good at music; ever since I started playing piano as a kid I’ve known that. And in drum circles, no one can tell me exactly what to do. No one can tell me how I should or shouldn’t feel. It’s literally just me and the music, as cliché as that sounds. It’s the only place in this facility that I feel like a human being rather than a robot. It’s the only place in this facility I really feel anything at all. Well, that’s not entirely true.

            There’s Evan. Kind, quiet, fucking adorable Evan. Talking to him makes me feel about as good as I do during these circles. And watching him during them is so sweet it could give someone a cavity. He sits there with the same instrument the whole time, worried that if he gets up people will judge him or he’ll knock something over. He’ll only play on the beat, but the way he holds the frog close to his chest, just ever so lightly scraping along the ridges, with a subtle smile on his lips makes me feel some kind of flutter in my chest.

            But really I feel like that every single time I look at him. And of course we share a room so I can’t really get away from him. God, if we were able to close the door to our room without supervision and finally be alone, maybe I’d do something about it. But of course the rules of suicide watch don’t allow for that kind of thing.

            It doesn’t stop us from staying up until all hours talking about fucking everything under the sun – about what we love to do, what we’re gonna do when we get out, and memories from when we were in school together. But I can’t tell him this. First of all, that kid had the biggest fucking crush on Zoe since forever. And he probably spent all that time remembering me as the kid who threw that printer at Mrs. G in the second grade.

            Everyone knew then that I’d end up in a place like this, probably for killing someone. Not because I tried to slit my wrists and throat in the bathtub and got caught by my sister. That’s what the people here know me as. But Evan treats me differently. He treats me like I’m an actual human being. That’s the main reason I just like him so god damn much it hurts.

            But watching him in these drum circles makes it all go away. I can just sit here and glance at him, hunched over and nervous. I’d love to hold him and make the world okay for him – heal his arm from his attempt, get rid of the bruises, make his mind quiet down for once. But for now, I’ll just be at my happiest playing music and seeing his smile.


	6. On the Cuffs of your Jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Connor Murphy work in a fancy, high-end clothing store? Ask the cute boy at the Pottery Barn across the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! Life has been heeectic with moving out of school for the summer, getting a job, and starting an online course that I've had no time to write! But now I have 5000000 plots in my head? So here it isss!
> 
> I came up with this plot at work one day? I also work at a semi-fancy, high-end clothing store that may or may not be the one this chapter takes place in. I won't say the name of the company for ~copyright reasons~ but it may or may not rhyme with schmexpress and be known for its jeans (hence the title). But I used Pottery Barn cause thats like. In the show and all. I was originally gonna have them all working at the clothing store, but I liked this idea more?
> 
> Also, I work with both of my sisters, where the oldest one is a store room person primarily, and the second oldest is a manager. So I kind of put that in here!
> 
> This isn't great, I'm not gonna lie. I'm out of practice, but hopefully you enjoy!
> 
> PS: I am of the beliefs that Jared uses nicknames religiously and that Connor is less of an angry child after getting out of the hospital (esp around Evan)

            “Either people wear some really ugly shit or I have no taste in clothes.” Connor placed the shoes he’d been holding in the cart next to him and sighed, moving to open the next box, “What’s with all the velvet? It’s summer.” 

            “You work in a fancy clothing store, Con.” Zoe responded over the headset, “You gotta get used to ugly stuff and rude customers”

            Connor rolled his eyes, not that his sister could see, “I work in the back room of a clothing store,” he corrected, “I don’t have to get used to any customers, unlike you dumbasses who deal with the front.” 

            He heard a snort come over the headset “Hey, being in the front isn’t so bad if you have some inkling of how to act around people, Murphy prime.”

            “Fuck off, Kleinman.”

            “Hey, I’m just saying I don’t think that you and the floor would work very well together.” Honestly, Connor couldn’t deny that, “Plus, if you work in the back, you can always come to work stoned.” 

            He paused for a moment, considering that, before pressing the button and saying, “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

            “Guys, you realize I can hear you right?” Zoe sighed, “Before you say anything that will make me obligated to report you, you should go on break, Con. I’ll send someone back there to cover for you while you’re out.”

            “Promise to get the stick out of your ass while I’m gone?”

            “Love you too, bro.”

            Connor smiled a little as he took the earpiece off, unhooking the mic from his shirt and the pack from his belt loop. Since he got out of the hospital, him and Zoe had gotten much closer. He also managed to become pretty much best friends with her girlfriend, Alana. She worked across the corridor of the mall at Pottery Barn, which Connor assumed is why Zoe originally applied to the store. Of course, then she ended up being really good at the job and quickly worked her way up and became a manager.

            She had mentioned one day that one of the stock people had gotten caught stealing, so of course his mom and Larry had jumped on that and started suggesting he try and apply for the spot. Because he was trying this new thing where he attempts to get along with his family, he said he’d do it. He didn’t hate working there, as long as Zoe and the other managers didn’t force him to work in the front. And his coworkers were okay. Even though he only really talked to his sister and Jared, who he’d also somehow become decently close to.

            And of course, there was the obvious plus of the extremely fucking cute guy who worked at the Pottery Barn with Alana. The guy who he’d had a crush on since the ninth grade, but never worked up the courage to talk to before fucking senior year. The guy who actually came with Zoe and Alana to visit him in the hospital, because he blamed himself for Connor trying to slit his wrists.

            Connor had started talking to Evan again by the time they graduated. It was still a bit awkward – at least on Connor’s end – but he just loved being around Evan. He’d always find excuses to walk into the store when he knew Evan was going to be working.

            And luckily for him, today was one of those days. Connor grabbed his wallet from the shelf in the back, placing his headset on the charger and walking out of the store, stopping to clock out at the register. He ignored Jared’s shouts of “get it in!” and made his way over to the overpriced home goods store across the way, hiding the excitement building up in his stomach.

            “W-welcome to Potter- oh! Hi Connor,” Evan stood up from where he’d been organizing a shelf of pillows. God, that smile made Connor feel things he didn’t even think were possible, “Give me a second, my shift is pretty much done! I just need to tell my manager.”

            Connor gave his usual smirky smile and stood in the front of the store, messing around on his phone and scowling at an employee who tried to push a blender on him. A few minutes later, Evan – sans the apron he’d been wearing before – came walking up to the taller boy, that same smile that always stayed on his face when he was around someone he felt comfortable with, “I’ve got half an hour, but my sister is on as manager, so it’s not as strict. Want to grab something to eat?”

            “Definitely! What do you want?”

            “I mean Chipotle is close.” He suggested. Evan looked visibly nervous about going to a place where so much interaction was necessary. He was definitely doing much better, and improving every day, but there were still things that made him anxious, “I can order for you.”

            “A-are you sure?”

            “Obviously, dumbass. I’m not gonna fucking leave you high and dry like that.” They began walking, and Connor wanted nothing more than to grab Evan’s hand “So, how was work?”

            “It was okay,” He nodded slightly, “not very busy, which was nice. You?”

            “I mean, I stay in a hot room unpacking clothes and running around. It’s not exactly the fucking lap of luxury.” He was worried about how short he was in saying it, but Evan actually laughed a bit. God, that laugh.

            “When do you get off?”

            “Whenever I get turned on.”

            “Connor!”

            He had to smirk at the now pink-faced boy, “Chill, I’m just being an ass. I get off in about an hour after I get back. Why do you ask?”

            “W-well, I – uh – I m-meant to ask later but…d-do you want to – never mind it’s so dumb justforgetIsaidanythingatallokay?”

            “Ev, slow down.” He pulled the shorter boy off to a bench and sat him down before he ended up having a full-blown panic attack in the middle of the mall, “breathe. Tell me what’s up.” Evan put his head in his hands, mumbling something basically incomprehensible, “Evan. Tell me.”

            The shorter boy sighed deeply and pulled his head back, but still avoided eye contact, “I was g-gonna ask…do you wanttogooutonadatetonight?”

            Connor was pretty definite that his heart skipped about twelve beats. Did Evan Hansen really just ask him out? He didn’t even think Evan liked guys. He’d had a crush on Zoe for ages! Well it made sense, considering no one in their group was straight. Jared and Alana were gay, Zoe was bi, he was pan, it made sense that Evan was probably bi too. But Connor had no idea. And he was interested in _him_ of all people? He was all mood swings and avoiding problems and anger issues and damaged brain, and Evan was just full of light.

            He was so confused, he completely forgot how to respond. He could hear Evan stuttering out apologies, but couldn’t find the words to string together a response. After what felt like a year, he finally managed to push out “I’d like that.”

            Evan was silent for a moment, but then broke out into a huge smile. That quickly faded into worried statements of, “You do? Are you sure? Cause you really don’t have t-”

            “Ev. Yes. I want to.” He smiled a little, “I still have fifteen minutes, what do you say we have that date now?”

            “That sounds nice”

            Connor stood up, hesitating a moment before offering his hand to Evan. The shorter boy reached for it, but then took his hand back and wiped it on his jeans before taking it. He moved to his feet, the biggest smile Connor had ever seen on his face. They walked to get food, hands together and much closer than before.

* * *

 

            “Con, where did you go? You’re like twenty minutes late.” Zoe pretty much yelled across the store.

            “See that stick is still up there.” He sighed, headed to the back of the store, “I’m here now, okay?”

            “Wait a minute, Conye,” Jared interrupted, walking up to him, “No way that scowl is your normal pissy face. You don’t look nearly constipated enough to be normal.”

            The switch from manager to sister in Zoe was so extreme it looked like a cartoon, “Jesus, you’re right. Spill it.”

            “No idea what the fuck you’re talking about. There’s a lot of shipment left, can I go take care of it?”

            “No way, Genghis Con.” Both Jared and Zoe were giving Connor suspicious looks, which made him curse any God there might have been for making it dead in the store and having more people there to cover it, “You leave with Evan, who you’re hopelessly in love with, and come back suddenly not pissed off at life.”

            “We just got food. Nothing else. Even if it did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

            “Con,” Zoe put her hand on his, “We both know you’re gonna tell Alana. We both know she’s gonna tell me. Let’s just cut out the middle man here.”

            He sighed and rolled his eyes, regretting suddenly how much he shared with Alana, “Evan kind of asked me out. Fucking happy?” He turned and walked to the back room before they could respond – even though he was bound to get shit for that later. He was about to throw his wallet and phone into the cabinet, but not before seeing his screen light up.

 

            _4:11 PM_

_Evan:_

_I really liked that…I’ll see you at the end of your shift_

            Connor smiled and quickly typed back his answer before throwing his phone into the cabinet and shutting the door, going to open the next box.

 

            _4:11 PM_

_Connor: can’t wait for it_

When there was that to look forward to, Connor didn’t even realize how the clothes he unpacked looked. He didn’t register any of Jared’s nicknames, Zoe’s teasing, or even his own thoughts. All that mattered was that Evan Hansen was waiting for him, and that made work suck a little bit less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a note: all of the oneshots in this collection are gonna be happy/more positive (AKA: No death). HOWEVER, I have some plans for some sadder fics that are gonna be separate entities soooo keep a lookout for those!


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